Tuesday, April 01, 2008

Purse contents and the hairs on my chinny chin chin

Mel tagged me for a "what's in your purse?" meme. I was going to take pictures, but it's not happening, so I'll just tell you.

A bunch of paper garbage and candy wrappers from easter m&m's and grocery receipts -- Lip gloss, change, empty envelopes from my grandpa's checks from when I took him to the bank, purple Mardi Gras beads, gold beads, a gift card tin with an $80 J.Jill gift card, my checkbook/wallet which I can't close for the girl scout cookie payment checks stuffed in it that need to get in the bank before the people kill me for not cashing them, keys with credit card wallet thing attached, pens, markers, cell phone, and one dollar bill.

The front pocket has 4 loose Excedrin, tweezers and a razor (for when the tweezers can't quite grip a chin hair).

Okay, and let's talk about that chin hair for a moment -- it's more interesting than what's in the purse anyway (sorry to disapoint -- Monty Hall wouldn't have given me a thing). I couldn't get a gig as the bearded lady, but there are enough to scare small children if I didn't stay on top of it.

What will happen to me come menopause -- I dare not think, rather, I shall begin saving for the laser treatments post haste.

I've always wanted to write an article for a teen magazine about it because, omg, I had the suckers in high school -- they grew right out of my chin scar and I thought I was a wooly mammoth. I was also sure I was the only girl in the entire teen universe to have such a problem...if only the internet had been available then -- I could have found relief among a yahoo chin hair group which would have allowed me to free up my angst to be better focused on where my next beer was coming from and on my secret knowing that Adam Ant and I will one day meet and be the best of friends -- maybe even luuuvahs.

I used to make my sister and close friends promise that if I were ever to wind up in a coma -- they MUST PLUCK MY CHIN -- If I wake up with chin hairs, I will change my name, leave town and you'll never see me again. Never.

The thought of people coming to visit my comatose body and seeing me laying there with chin hairs -- do you see why I had to drink?

Anyway, I always thought it would be nice if I could help just one girl feel like she wasn't alone, or better yet -- "At least I'm not that girl." Help a sister out, ya know?

If you happened upon this via a chin hair google -- so many other girls.

Just look at the depilatory section in any drug store -- do you think that's just for you? Or just for legs? Noooooo, oh so many options. For permanent removal, forget electrolysis and save up for the laser treatments (unless you don't have to save, in that case -- go, make an appointment). If it's just a few hairs, just pluck them out.

How do I feel about the coma/chin hair now?

Sell tickets if it'll help you make an extra buck. But if they bug you, go for it -- and get the stray dark ones on my upper lip too while you're at it, thanks.

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Blogger Matt said...

Chuckling loudly at work makes my co-workers look at me funny. Hilarious... extra points for the Adam Ant reference.

4:22 PM  
Blogger kim said...

matt, so nice to see you over here at my blog. Thanks for the extra points, I've been running low on those (I say "funny", my kids say "embarrassing!".)

5:42 PM  
Blogger KATE said...

Oh my hell, you're killing me! I am also plagued by the same affliction!! Of all the freaking genes to inherit I got the damn facial hair gene! What the crap!?
I bought the professional "man lip" waxer too! I love it, but it's not all that easy to wax yourself!
Tweezers are my best friends!! I will say that for our 10th Anniversary (this is REALLY embarassing) my husband bought me laser hair removal!!! It's for my chin, man lip, & unibrow! Yikes, freaky that I'm admitting all that to the freaking world wide web! but I would have LOVED the whole support group in High School! I was Hairy McFurryson! hee hee

5:49 PM  
Blogger Melek said...

how about nipple hair? you have any of that? luckily i just have one, and it's a slow grower. altho my BF is sure to let me know when he sees it. and no, i'm not plucking there ;)

i hope nobody i know IRL reads this....

5:52 PM  
Blogger KATE said...

BTW~ If you are ever in a coma I would be honored to pluck your chin hairs for you!! If you would return the favor!!

5:53 PM  
Blogger kim said...

I should post a picture of my great grandfather Davis -- you don't know from uni-brow. !

Have you hear of the "NO NO"? is that what you have? I hear there is some at home laser thing that works, but after the epilady incident, I'm not too quick to fall for the latest hair remover. The no no thing is over two hundred bucks, but i'd pay it if it worked. If i could reduce the leg hair I'd be very pleased.
and genetics? I have one aunt who's hairy like me, four are normal and one doesn't even grow pit hair -- now why didn't I get the no pit hair gene? No, I take after the hair maintenance one (that's okay, she's also aging really well, so maybe I'll get that too).

Mel -- one per decade. Instead of rings -- like a tree -- you can estimate my age by number of nipple hairs I have. Yeah, slow growers. Before kids, they didn't get far enough for anyone to ever have to know, but now -- every once in a while it's like, dang -- how'd I not see that long ass hair. I wonder how long it would actually get if I let it.

6:34 PM  
Blogger kim said...

Kate -- we facial hair girls have to stick together -- I'll keep everyone believing you have two eyebrows, etc.

Mel, you're on your own with that nipple hair. I'm sure the BF will take care of it for you. You should get him to sign a contract and that if your coma were long term and he moves on, he still has to take care of that for you.

6:39 PM  
Blogger Matt said...

Nipple hairs... boy do I ever have those...

Thanks for the welcome, Kim! I've been lurking, but you commented on WTB, so now I've been outed. :)

11:44 AM  
Blogger kim said...

mutual lurking -- i always link you through your funny comments on wordtryst's blog -- (yeah, say that sentence IRL and see if you don't get punched in the face).

and aren't you glad you read my blog?
Now you know too much about unwanted hair and you can't give the information back -- you are just going to have to live with it. My apologies to your wife if I've damaged you in any way.

12:03 PM  
Blogger wordtryst said...

Boy, I really needed this laugh.

I've been having to pluck a few things on my chin over the last few years. I read where a writer said she refused to call them chin hairs. She calls them stray eyebrows, and I thought that was a hell of an improvement in nomenclature, so I call them that too.

Couldn't remember if I had a stray eyebrow on my nipple or not, so I just checked... Nope. Hair free nipples. (Small blessings...)

Nice to see you over here, Matt!

8:02 PM  
Blogger kim said...

"stray eyebrows" -- now that is funny.

8:27 AM  
Blogger kim said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

8:27 AM  

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