Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Well, there's one good thing

Winnie doesn't know the word "fuck" or that it is a swear word.

I got into it with Rich this morning while trying to put my foot down about what he wants to get Frankie for Christmas. He wants to get him an airsoft gun -- I say fine, when he can demonstrate responsibility. This is after I was over-ridden about the axe and now we have a hacked up oak tree, retaining wall and an entire tree gone from our lower front yard. This after I was over ridden about video capabilities in his room and we now have many useless DVD's because he can't seem to figure out what the big deal is about putting them back in a case, or at least not stepping on them. This after several hundred dollars spent on pumps for the turtle tank because he can't be bothered to keep it on, or (consistently) keep it clean -- not only destroying the pumps one after another, but also providing the stench of raw sewage throughout the house when it does get turned on. Etc. etc. et-fucking-cetera.

No turtle for you.

I don't care if it's a tiny LCD screen, no video in the kid's rooms.

And when your mantra is, "yeah, so?" -- no fucking airsoft gun.

My disciplinary ideas get over ridden because I'm a step parent, but who do you think the finger will be pointed at when this kid is a menace to society? You got that right, the adult who spent the majority of time with him -- in our case -- the step mom.

It's very difficult to have separate styles of discipline for the kids. It is a very sucky part of having a blended family. Of course there are better, more correct, more effective ways of doing things -- but this is how ours works.

It sucks that I lost my temper in front of Winnie this morning. When I apologized for swearing so much and reassured her everything was going to be okay, "mommy just ran out of patience, but I'll get more," she said, "you only said two swears mom, shit and hell." That's when it became clear that she doesn't know about the word fuck yet, because I used it in every tense it has.

I also decided to officially throw in the towel on giving my kids the perfectly nurtured childhood (who was I kidding anyway?). My new aim is to provide just enough dysfunction to make them interesting people, but not so much that they are damaged beyond reason. I hope to provide the coping skills necessary to deal with any damage caused by the flaws in my parenting.

I think it's a solid plan.


Blogger pr!tz said...

Sometimes I pray that my niece never loses her innocence.

I love it when she just runs up to me and bury her nose into me and hugs me tight.

I love it when she draws me a red airplace with pink wings and tells me to stick it up on my office cubi.

I love it when she says that Preethi Aunty is beautiful. "Even though your face has a lot of mosquito bites" (those are my pimples!)

I know it wont stay forever. But let it last for as long as it will.

12:11 AM  
Blogger kim said...

You are killing me here.

You don't know guilt until you have made a mistake with your children...

1:21 PM  
Blogger Jessica said...

Kim, thanks for stopping by my blog today...I've been reading through your stuff and you are seriously cracking me up.

I have to say that I am symapthetic to your step-parenting woes as I have been on both ends. In marriage #1, I was the step-parent and in marriage #2 (what was that about dysfunction?), I was the biological parent. It's hard...very hard. My last husband and I were together for 7 years - from the time my son was 10 until 17 and we just divorced over these very issues.

Good luck to you and yours.

10:03 AM  

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