Friday, May 18, 2007

The conditions are right for a blown top -- a yelling watch will be in effect until 8:35 am, at which time school will begin, ringing the "all clear"

I'll tell you, every time I've yelled at my kids, it's been under the following conditions: pressed for time, kids complaining and nit picking, disrespect toward me over one of a dozen --previously beaten to death-- situations (like combing long hair), all while I'm saying "no" to things while my actions are saying yes.

I'm a person who needs a little time to think before she acts. You would think there's not much to think about in regard to getting the kids ready for school, but let me tell you -- no matter how simple a routine you have in place, kids will work to complicate it, it's like they need to change the whole world before they leave for school. And they seem to have worked out a system where they tag teem to overwhelm me with questions and simple tasks.

I know it's coming, I'm prepared for most of it, but sooner or later I find myself going back on previous words and doing crap for my kids that they should have done for themselves last night when I told them to, and I realize I should just let them suffer the consequences of going without or doing it themselves, but I've already combed the hair and heard all about how much I suck at it, and I've moved on to looking for the shoes, "and if they are not in this box, you have to wear a different pair -- we don't have time for this, you should have set them out last night," and I'm not done preaching by the time I'm digging through the fourth box when I begin to realize I'm in the middle of that wishy washy crap, the kind of which renders my words useless. The pages of every book on parenting that I've ever read start to read themselves aloud to me in order to let me know that I'm fucking it up.

If no one said another word for 30 seconds, we'd all be okay -- but under the rapid fire of crud and the facts that -- I'm no fool, I'm no pushover, and to let everybody know just how in control I am, I will yell for the next 60 seconds without breathing in once.



Blogger Trish Ryan said...

Hang in there - you're doing great! I suspect it doesn't feel that way, but you are. Sometimes kids need to be yelled at. My sister and I both remember the times my Mom or Dad would lay down the law in a raised voice, and what we remember is knowing for sure that we'd best get our act together, cause we'd reached the edge of whatever boundary we were pushing at.

You're doing great!

12:46 PM  
Blogger kim said...

Thanks Trish. I re-grouped fairly well before all was said and done, but I friggin hate when that happens.

1:26 PM  

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