Another anniversary, wasn't I just writing about a seven year itch? My how time does indeed fly.
This year we yelled less. Some issues were actually resolved while others remained but have been hashed over from every approach thought of to date -- I just let those be as best as I could this year. We had enough good times where he endeared himself to me to keep me from killing him when he didn't.
It sounds one sided because it usually is -- he's usually got no truck with me. He's often surprised to find that I don't think things are going well -- and therein lies much of the problem. It's mostly age old couple's stuff and we are surviving it, getting through it and learning to live with much of it -- even getting past some of it.
It's been a fairly stressful road, but through it all have been some good times and the sense that we are the real deal. Ours is a constantly evolving relationship. I don't ever feel we are growing apart, it's always been a process of better understandings of one another and deciding if we are willing to live forever together knowing what we know.
Not the romantic dreams of my youth, but what is? "Life on life's terms" is not just a phrase for bumper stickers. I think my entire human drama spawns from the thought, "but why can't it be this
way -- this fun, easy, my way -- over here?"
I definitely process slow to acceptance of life's drudgeries.
Rich and I had a weekend get-a-way this past weekend so we are in a real good space to have an anniversary. It's amazing how well we get along when there are no expectations of each other to live up to.
There's some New Age crap out there that suggests spiritual bliss once you stop placing expectations on people. That's all well and good as long as there are no children to be cared for -- or any other of life's responsibilities hanging around for that matter. Until such time, there will be expectation, disappointment, accountability and all of the other combustible aspects of life.
It's not realistic to give up expectations, but it is possible to flee the expectation causing responsibility -- so we did -- and boy did we have fun. Side note on that is, I have found my machine and it is,
the Yamaha three man jet ski.
We rode and rode on that jet-ski -- every time I started to fall asleep on our first night home I had the sensation of pounding over the waves. The first day was smooth lake, but on the second day the water was pretty choppy -- all the better to get air borne my sweet!
AAAAhhh, I could live on a jet-ski...
It's been good to laugh with him. And to be rested.
Last night we actually got to talk as we lay in bed -- usually one or the other of us is snoring away any opportunity for chat. We looked at the stars through the skylight and wondered about the satellights we saw and do any of them ever fall out of orbit because, "remember Skylab
?" (there were t-shirts with targets and everything).
We reminisced about our first date -- when I got there he walked out of his bedroom and said, "Thank God you finally showed up, now I can stop changing my pants". I walked over to hug hello and dropped my soda all over him and the floor. He laughed at my Nell
mocking and I laughed at him pointing out his average hands when I was singing Blister in the Sun.
We layed together on his couch and talked and laughed and talked and laughed and gave each other a hard time.
Most of all I remember the sense of relief that I had in knowing that this was the one for me.
He says he knew on our first date that I was the one for him -- I knew the night of our phone call regarding the planning of an up-coming event for a conference we were working on together--it turned into an all night conversation that ended with the planning of the first date. The first date was confirmation.
No matter what my head is thinking, it's always there -- that sense of comfort in belonging together that I felt that first night I knew he was the one.
Happy anniversary baby.