Mel tagged me for a "what's in your purse?" meme. I was going to take pictures, but it's not happening, so I'll just tell you.
A bunch of paper garbage and candy wrappers from easter m&m's and grocery receipts -- Lip gloss, change, empty envelopes from my grandpa's checks from when I took him to the bank, purple Mardi Gras beads, gold beads, a gift card tin with an $80 J.Jill gift card, my checkbook/wallet which I can't close for the girl scout cookie payment checks stuffed in it that need to get in the bank before the people kill me for not cashing them, keys with credit card wallet thing attached, pens, markers, cell phone, and one dollar bill.
The front pocket has 4 loose Excedrin, tweezers and a razor (for when the tweezers can't quite grip a chin hair).
Okay, and let's talk about that chin hair for a moment -- it's more interesting than what's in the purse anyway (sorry to disapoint -- Monty Hall wouldn't have given me a thing). I couldn't get a gig as the bearded lady, but there are enough to scare small children if I didn't stay on top of it.
What will happen to me come menopause -- I dare not think, rather, I shall begin saving for the laser treatments post haste.
I've always wanted to write an article for a teen magazine about it because, omg, I had the suckers in high school -- they grew right out of my chin scar and I thought I was a wooly mammoth. I was also sure I was the only girl in the entire teen universe to have such a problem...if only the internet had been available then -- I could have found relief among a yahoo chin hair group which would have allowed me to free up my angst to be better focused on where my next beer was coming from and on my secret knowing
that Adam Ant and I will one day meet and be the best of friends -- maybe even luuuvahs.
I used to make my sister and close friends promise that if I were ever to wind up in a coma -- they MUST PLUCK MY CHIN -- If I wake up with chin hairs, I will change my name, leave town and you'll never see me again. Never.
The thought of people coming to visit my comatose body and seeing me laying there with chin hairs -- do you see why I had to drink?
Anyway, I always thought it would be nice if I could help just one girl feel like she wasn't alone, or better yet -- "At least I'm not that
girl." Help a sister out, ya know?
If you happened upon this via a chin hair google -- so many other girls
Just look at the depilatory section in any drug store -- do you think that's just for you? Or just for legs? Noooooo, oh so many options. For permanent removal, forget electrolysis and save up for the laser treatments (unless you don't have to save, in that case -- go, make an appointment). If it's just a few hairs, just pluck them out.
How do I feel about the coma/chin hair now?
Sell tickets if it'll help you make an extra buck. But if they bug you, go for it -- and get the stray dark ones on my upper lip too while you're at it, thanks.
Labels: ...angst about nukes -- i was sure we were all going to die soon because people are so stupid -- especially the ones in my town, he would have married me