The last Christmas

"Mom, does Santa put the presents under the tree, or do you?"

That's my Winnie asking me on Christmas eve. She pressed and implied that I might put them under the tree for Santa. She said it in a thinking out loud way -- like maybe that's how it's done.

She still believes. Despite school rumors to the contrary of a jolly old delivery boy -- she was having none of it.

Tonight we were looking over our pictures of visits with Santa at the mall and she's been doing a bit of the math -- between that and the comments, a girl's going to wonder.

I paused, while I silently choked and thought of asking if she wanted to know where babies come from.

Instead I said, "Let it be magic, it's all about magic."

And that worked -- she pressed no more.

Winter wonderland

Merry Christmas blogger friends, may your days be merry and bright.

Peace and Joy

Kid Quotes

Some of these are repeats on the blog.

When the kids say something especially kid speak, I try to write it down right away and date it. Time is of the essence because I don't have the password for the area of my brain which stores the quotes. I toss these random bits of paper in my address book. When the stars align right, I write them down in the address book on the blank pages in-between letters.

Samples: October 2002 -- Winnie's song to mommy "I love my mom so much, and that's why I don't give up. But I will go on by myself if she be's mean to me...and she knows everything dooooo"

August 17, 2004 -- Lizzie wanted to tell me one of my painted things was beautiful, she said it was "cute-able."

When I was buckling Lizzie in her seat to leave the park she sniffed my arm and said, "Mom, you smell grassous."

Dec 2004 -- Lizzie says "celle phone" for cell phone (sounds like cellophane)

July 31, 2004 -- Winnie "Will I still be a kid when I go to school?"

Sept. 2004 -- Both girls say "hot llama" instead of "hot lava"

a kind of scarred Lizzie waking up with an asleep hand, "My hand is fizzy."

Middle of the night potty trip conversation: Lizzie, "Do you know what it feels like to have my head on your lap when I go potty?"

"No. What's it like?"

"It feels nice. It feels like life."

January 2005 -- someone has been sick since Thanksgiving so we have been laying low as a family. Winnie said, "I miss the good old days." I ask why, to which she said, "When we used to go to the library and go out."

Sept. 2004 -- Winnie, making Barbie talk -- very dramatic and breathy, "If my baby dies and goes to heaven...uh! (and other dramatic sigh noises) there will be nothing to be betrothen."

Lizzie, "My gum is gone -- I spit it out because it was getting flavor not."

Dec. 29, 2004 Lizzie -- "You said yes?! I rewinded my ears...I thought you said no."

March 26, 2005 A conversation -- Lizzie: "It's a ticket to Derfangus and Derfangus helps people."
Winnie, "Wait a minute...this isn't a Derfangus ticket!"

Feb 7, 2005 Lizzie -- "Mom, do butterflies sneeze?...What about caterpillars?"

May 23, 2006 Lizzie "Mom, there's a sunset when the sun is rising."

Dec. 17, 2006 Lizzie --"Winnie, I know we were made in mom's belly, but sometimes...sometimes do you ever wonder how we got in there?"

May 4, 2003 Winnie "When I was upstairs sleeping, my nose was awake and it smelled chocolate milk."

July 2005 Winnie -- "We keep whacking the baby Jesus on the Hitchcock sign and we keep laughing."

December 2002 -- Mom "Are you making a bubble beard, Lizzie?"
"I'm making a ho ho ho, mama."

The chipmunk reviews are in

Comments as we left the theatre

"That was the silliest movie I've ever seen." -- Winnie

"At my school? We have this thing? called star of the week? And I already was, but if I was again, I would say this is my favorite movie." -- friend Sarah

"I can't see!" Then Lizzie bounced herself off of the theatre wall and into the garbage can.

It's George of the Jungle all over again

When Frankie was 8 or 9 we took him and one of his buddies to see George of the Jungle, and while he and his friend laughed until they cried each and every time George was warned to "look out for that tree" -- I began to understand the mind of a cutter.

That movie was a rough one to get through. Then there were weeks upon weeks which followed with Frankie hollering for George to look out for that tree, then slamming himself into whatever wall or furniture there was to slam into -- it was barely funny the first time, child -- now I'm supposed to laugh at this 20 times a day?

Plenty of movies have come, been over quoted, and gone and I've been fine with them. I've even been okay with Barbie's power to cause my girls to spontaneously over act.

But now the cutting thoughts are back. Why? Alvin and the Chipmunks, that's why. Specifically, the "bom chicka wow wow, bom chicka wow wow," my girls seem to think is so hysterical. We haven't even seen the movie yet, but my girls can't get enough of the commercial with that little chipmunk shaking his butt and singing his little chipmunk porn soundtrack.

We go tomorrow night.

Think of me.

I'm going to do it

I'm a fairly "live and let live" kind of girl. I'm sure with a preface like that, you can see a judgment coming, right? And given the shleppy shlep you can find me wearing most days, I really have no business, but...

Oh my gosh -- I have never wanted to get hold of someone and turn them into a makeover show so bad as I do with a person I see almost daily. The thing is, she is in a power position, she is in her twenties and she dresses like she is on her way to a knitting circle, "the girls" are large and hang way too low on her tiny little frame, and again -- I have no business pointing fingers at posture issues, but -- the woman hunches over in that way that makes it seem like she is sorry for taking up space.

That last thing is what gets me the most and I'll tell you why -- my inner feminist doesn't like it. You are in your twenties and you are in a leadership position -- don't apologize for that or try to be small so people will still like you, that's a total girl trap (it may happen to guys too, but I've only experienced it with us and maybe one guy I used to work with, but I think it's safe to call it a woman issue).

I see why a twenty something could make the fashion mistakes confusing frump with conservative dressing. The boobs? She's breastfeeding, maybe between the new baby and the power job, she's no time to shop for a proper fit (I went close to five years in the same bra -- I tried a couple of times in those years to get a new one, but when I had kids I lost all patients for shopping. I really mean it -- if by the second bra I tried on, I hadn't found a good fit -- too bad, so sad -- I need to get out of here!) Perhaps the posture is because of the weight of her front, but put it all together and I feel a great need to help this woman before she discovers fashion, correct undergear and gets confident all too late to enjoy all the cool things you get to wear in your twenties. Not to mention the role model opportunity to have unapologetically acheived so much, so young.

Maybe I submit to them all -- appeal to Oprah on the basis of the woman in power thing. Stacy and Clinton would just need pictures and her age. Who else? How Do I Look? How do you get on that show?

She represents so many of us, someone has to take her under their wing -- if I were in her circle, I'd jump at it, but I'm not. I'm a mom who deals with her in her professional capacity, so my only hope is to turn her in or stalk her friends and give them tips to pass on.

A helpful mom tip

Because I know many of you have smaller kids who need/like to have their food cut up -- I thought I would share a handy way to do it. I use a pizza cutter to cut up the kid's food. I've never tried it on a pork chop or anything, but it works great on french toast, pancakes, sausage and things like that.

My kids don't need their food chopped, but they like to dip their french toast, so the cutter makes it easy and they can even do it themselves.

It's a small thing, but in the mom world if anything can be made easier I feel it's my duty to share.

"Come here Stimpy, I won't hit you." -- Ren

Rich is pushing at my limits this week. He is at work right now and should probably stay there as long as he can because right now I just want him to come home so I can be mean.

The cousins are here

Declan is 7 and Lily is 4 (my girls are 7 and 8 if you don't already know -- Frankie wasn't out of bed yet).

I really need to follow this gang around with a tape recorder because they are spinning some kid gold this morning. Everything Lily says is golden, just by nature of the fact that she sounds like she hails from Whoville.

Winnie: Declan has on four pairs of underwear.
Me: At least his butt won't get cold when you are out in the snow.
Declan: Yeah, and if a raccoon bites me he won't get all the way through.

He's always thinkin.

Lizzie gave Lily a costume ring, after a mild dispute between sisters, over who's ring it was to give away -- Winnie gives it to Lily(again).
Acting like she'd never seen such a ring in her life and sounding like a Who, she said, "I will wear this forever."

I wish I had sound on that last one, because the bulk of the cute was in the clear, yet tiny enunciation of each word and her sincerity -- "I, will wear this forever".

Then there's the kids and Gurty. I have no specific story with any kind of payoff for you blogger pals -- I just need to make a note so I can remember how they all think Gurty loves them best.
Lily is super convinced because Gurty seems to be following her, but it's only when she is carrying her Dora blanket -- her, soft, fuzzy, wouldn't that make a great bed, Dora blanket. "Gurty keeps laying on my blanket with me, she loves me."

And the giggles surrounding getting your hand licked by Gurty -- four gigglers all thinking that's funny stuff -- "She's licking me!" "She's licking you!"